"So this is the new year"

And, really, I don't feel any different.

So this is the new year.
And I don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance.

It's truly been one hell of year. I pretty much did all of the obligatory recapping in my last entry, detailing friendships made and friendships kept. I talked about my classes and about my friends. Nothing much has really changed since then except that I learned just how right I was about everyone. Winter break shared with old friends has been less a breath of fresh air than a desperate gasp. I don't know if it's healthy to cling to the accostomed to with such ferocity - and I know even less if I'm even going to let it bother me.

Granted, I miss my friends from college too. It's two different worlds really. And I was never terribly good at juggling.

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self-assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions.

But this isn't about last year. This isn't about Bava house parties or Harvard or Europe or Prom or Graduation or Summer of '06 or my first semester away from home. This isn't about mistakes made or questionable decision making. This isn't nostalgia and this certainly isn't about regret.

"We are nowhere and it's now."

And what really matter in these first hours of 2007 is the twelve empty pages of calendar days ahead. It's impossible to tell where I'll be in 365 days. I couldn't tell you now if i'll be enrolled in Ramapo or Rutgers. I couldn't tell you if I'll be single or in a relationship or madly in love. I couldn't tell you now if I'll still be making music in the wee hours of the night, seeking solace in the satisfaction of independent accomplishment. I don't know if I'll be drunk or sober, stoned or sitting by the window, dreaming. Maybe in a year I won't be listening to Death Cab or Bright Eyes. Maybe I will be. I couldn't tell you now what will have unfolded or changed or fallen apart or been built. I couldn't tell you. All I really know is that in 365 days I'll be here, typing about how I don't feel any different. But I will be.

So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one.

New Years resolutions are for people who need some empty promise to motivate them in rectifying something about themselves that they or their partner find troublesome.

This year, I do not resolve to lose weight. I do not resolve to go to the gym more or to do extra crunches to trim baggage off because I'm supposed to want to. I do not resolve to make more of an effort to talk to girls or to be friendly to everyone. I'm probably not going to join a club. I don't promise that this time next year I'll be self-crafted out of stone. I have neither an iron will nor a shallow heart. I don't resolve to lay off the liquor or stay off cigarettes. I won't allow myself to be governed by anything like it.

This year, I will sing whatever tunes is in my head and blaze whatever trail leads to where I want to be. I will keep my friends close and my enemies far far away. I will contribute to conversation in a lively and effervescent manner. I will laugh obnoxiously and, grinning, tell stories. I will play my guitar as loud as it'll go. And I might play out of key. I'll live. I'll be.


I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back.

New Year's Eve is the most popular suicide night of the calendar year.

And we're all still here. We've got clean slates and another handful of weeks to accomplish and experience and to fall in love. We've got clear sailing. We've got blue skies 'til morning.

There'll be no distance that can hold us back.

Bomb the Blogosphere,
Mike

Lyric Credit "The New Year" by Death Cab for Cutie