If we're being honest here, and I like to think we are, there should be no reservation in keystroke. And so and so and so too much like I speak I lose it and begin again so if we're being honest here, and I hope to God we can be, there is always enough to say-- there is no reservation in fingerprick beyond the first so calculated-- and so beautifully like spring I haven't let my car windows up in days, even when it's raining, and I hope to God we can hold on because honestly, honestly, I think I believe it's okay to lose it and let it find itself because there is always, always, something to say. And that is enough for me.
If I could make a midyear resolution considering everything around and inside me thats shifted, it would be to trust more. As much in myself as anything. I found myself trying to explain to someone today how I feel uncomfortable in groups I'm unacquainted with and it occurred to me that I wasn't exactly telling the truth. I'm uncomfortable in groups I'm un-perfectly-acquainted with. What is it that makes me still shaky about people the umpteenth time I'm hanging out with them? That isn't natural. I think I have this fear of being unwelcome and unaware of it, a social burden or someone [I begrudgingly allude] Dane Cook would title "Brian." Ridiculous, yes. If only because a definitive characteristic of "Brian" is his unwelcome feeling of belonging and therefore inability to have written this paragraph. Oddly, reading this over and realizing the impossibility, by definition, of my being "that guy" is comforting. To a point. There is, as with all things, some comfortable medium alluding me here. So I make it my midyear resolution to accident upon it. Wish me luck there.
I started work a little over two weeks ago which, for those of you keeping score at home, comes to pretty much right after Spring semester ended. The absence of any breather between finals and 50+ hour work weeks is proving a little rough not so much on me physically or even mentally, but on my concept of summer and it's chronology. Like, I'm working 5 to 6 days a week and trying to grasp when my friends are around and when they're working or going on vacation or away to study abroad. And juggling work with all the stress and drama therein has been no cakewalk.
Speaking of work, to better myself as a Lead of Looney Tunes and the Justice League, I just attempted to get myself up to date on 70 years of the DC comics universe. It's impossible. I understand it no better than if I had just tried to put Calculus together via internet math team forums. Apparently there are multiple universes, but when DC gets confused they publish a series where some villain destroys these universes and everything is reverted to zero-- allowing DC to rewrite its own universe's history and fix all the paradoxes that dozens of publications per month creates. It's like a cold reboot when your computer hangs up. Kind of a cop-out, and very difficult to understand. Especially because apparently the superheroes are currently (yeah, May 08) going through another "crisis." So why am I bothering to read up on this when its all going to be rewritten again soon? I'm at a loss here.
Ignore all of the previous paragraph.
Well, its good to be writing again. I'm still working on that screenplay, maybe I'll post a page or two of it in here when I'm happy with it. We will have to see.
Bomb the Blogosphere,
Mike
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Double dutching ropes
in burning city summers.
I do wonder if anyone else is going through the same "halfway-through-college" crisis I am. I won't waste words with the "it was barely" and "seems like only" yesterdays but correlation between age and the speed of the passage of time is just... stupid. Stupid like the crushes I get at the ends of semesters that are nothing more than bad ideas and dramas waiting to happen. But I digress.
For you, I present this. A mixlist that sums my sophomore year up better than I ever could. Each of these songs has some connection to a day or an event or an emotional stroke, a firing of synapses and a majesty in relation.
I thought about providing explanation, but it occurs to me that trying to explain this would be impossible-- I can think of what makes these songs special, what people, and I think that's enough. There are inside selections here and if you wanted to ask, I'd answer.
1. "Stars" Hum
"She thinks she missed the train to mars, she's out back counting stars."
2. "Album of the Year" The Good Life
"She took me to her mother’s house outside of town where the stars hang down.
She said she’d never seen someone so lost, I said I’d never felt so found."
3. "Digital Love" Daft Punk
"Why don't you play the game?"
4. "The Ocean Breathes Salty" Modest Mouse
"And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old. Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hope so. "
5. "15 Step" Radiohead
"Et cetera, et cetera."
6. "Can You Please Climb Out Your Window?" The Hold Steady, Bob Dylan cover for I'm Not There
"Why does he look so righteous while your face is so changed?"
7. "I Can Barely Breathe" Manchester Orchestra
"I watched the beauties, watched the fires and the fire burning beauty in their eyes."
8. "Westfall" Okkervil River
"When I was younger, handsomer and stronger, I felt like I could do anything."
9. C.R.E.A.M." Wu-Tang Clan
"I grew up in the crime side, New York Times side. Staying alive was no jive."
10. "Can't Stand It" Wilco
"Speakers speaking, speakers speaking, speaking in code."
11. "Nothing to You" Two Gallants
"But the lost cause of words walks away with my nerves 'cause I'm gay as a choir boy for you."
12. "Sweetest Girl" Wyclef Jean ft. Akon and Lil Wayne
"You don't know not to lay low 'cause 25 to life is no joke."
13. "You Get What You Give" The New Radicals"
"Wake up kids, we've got the dreamer's disease."
14. "Gimme The Loot" Notorious B.I.G.
"I'm all that and a dime sack, where the paper at?"
15. "Lovely NYC" dj BC and The Beastles
"Brownstones, water towers, trees, skyscrapers
Writers, prize fighters and Wall Street traders
We come together on the subway cars."
16. "Watermelon Man" Herbie Hancock
"woo WOO woo WOO! woo WOO! woo WOO!"
17. "Roses" Outkast
"I know you like to thank your shit don't stank but lean a little bit closer, see. Roses really smell like--"
18. "Are You In?" Incubus
"It's so much better when everyone is in, are you in?"
19. "1,000 Deaths" Aesop Rock
"You ever died a thousand deaths? I have.
And in the morrow stood a thousand steps from where my nourish laughed
And made a boat at, nomad, I roam in a social coma
Jones and be home alone days sink how my poems I
Dig in the dirt I bring up the earth like pulley systems
Thereby painting the perfect metaphor for hung juries
Strung along a song of spawning thorns of fury."
20. "Hallelujah" Jeff Buckley
"Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah"
That this year is over hasn't sunk it, and probably won't for a couple of days. Maybe then I'll be ready to reflect on how much this year has changed me and the people I've met and stayed close with. The things I've done and the jokes I've heard and the people I've hurt. Soon.
'til then.
Bomb the Blogosphere,
Mike
I do wonder if anyone else is going through the same "halfway-through-college" crisis I am. I won't waste words with the "it was barely" and "seems like only" yesterdays but correlation between age and the speed of the passage of time is just... stupid. Stupid like the crushes I get at the ends of semesters that are nothing more than bad ideas and dramas waiting to happen. But I digress.
For you, I present this. A mixlist that sums my sophomore year up better than I ever could. Each of these songs has some connection to a day or an event or an emotional stroke, a firing of synapses and a majesty in relation.
I thought about providing explanation, but it occurs to me that trying to explain this would be impossible-- I can think of what makes these songs special, what people, and I think that's enough. There are inside selections here and if you wanted to ask, I'd answer.
1. "Stars" Hum
"She thinks she missed the train to mars, she's out back counting stars."
2. "Album of the Year" The Good Life
"She took me to her mother’s house outside of town where the stars hang down.
She said she’d never seen someone so lost, I said I’d never felt so found."
3. "Digital Love" Daft Punk
"Why don't you play the game?"
4. "The Ocean Breathes Salty" Modest Mouse
"And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old. Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hope so. "
5. "15 Step" Radiohead
"Et cetera, et cetera."
6. "Can You Please Climb Out Your Window?" The Hold Steady, Bob Dylan cover for I'm Not There
"Why does he look so righteous while your face is so changed?"
7. "I Can Barely Breathe" Manchester Orchestra
"I watched the beauties, watched the fires and the fire burning beauty in their eyes."
8. "Westfall" Okkervil River
"When I was younger, handsomer and stronger, I felt like I could do anything."
9. C.R.E.A.M." Wu-Tang Clan
"I grew up in the crime side, New York Times side. Staying alive was no jive."
10. "Can't Stand It" Wilco
"Speakers speaking, speakers speaking, speaking in code."
11. "Nothing to You" Two Gallants
"But the lost cause of words walks away with my nerves 'cause I'm gay as a choir boy for you."
12. "Sweetest Girl" Wyclef Jean ft. Akon and Lil Wayne
"You don't know not to lay low 'cause 25 to life is no joke."
13. "You Get What You Give" The New Radicals"
"Wake up kids, we've got the dreamer's disease."
14. "Gimme The Loot" Notorious B.I.G.
"I'm all that and a dime sack, where the paper at?"
15. "Lovely NYC" dj BC and The Beastles
"Brownstones, water towers, trees, skyscrapers
Writers, prize fighters and Wall Street traders
We come together on the subway cars."
16. "Watermelon Man" Herbie Hancock
"woo WOO woo WOO! woo WOO! woo WOO!"
17. "Roses" Outkast
"I know you like to thank your shit don't stank but lean a little bit closer, see. Roses really smell like--"
18. "Are You In?" Incubus
"It's so much better when everyone is in, are you in?"
19. "1,000 Deaths" Aesop Rock
"You ever died a thousand deaths? I have.
And in the morrow stood a thousand steps from where my nourish laughed
And made a boat at, nomad, I roam in a social coma
Jones and be home alone days sink how my poems I
Dig in the dirt I bring up the earth like pulley systems
Thereby painting the perfect metaphor for hung juries
Strung along a song of spawning thorns of fury."
20. "Hallelujah" Jeff Buckley
"Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah"
That this year is over hasn't sunk it, and probably won't for a couple of days. Maybe then I'll be ready to reflect on how much this year has changed me and the people I've met and stayed close with. The things I've done and the jokes I've heard and the people I've hurt. Soon.
'til then.
Bomb the Blogosphere,
Mike
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